I try to limit many things I would blog about, because many of the things I would have to say, and my comments on many matters are personal, private or could come across as negative, angry or depressing, or at worst flat out boring and tedious, and that is not the person I try to be socially, the type of things I want to be known for, nor is it the type of person I want to be known as. I would also like for people that I might know in real life to be able to come across this or read it without developing a negative taste in their mouths. Anybody else out there more comfortable telling things to virtual strangers over those you’re closer with?
Many of you have made comment about my positive or practical attitude, or what you think I’m doing well at in some regard, and the point I’m in a roundabout way finally getting to is, I’m human too. Regardless of the topic or day, we all have those types of thoughts, we all share those types of feelings, we all have a questionable opinion at some point. We all have things we consider inappropriate or too personal to discuss at any point, and we all have an identity when we’re outside of our four walls that is not always consistent with who we are when we’re within them; that is, who we are socially.
There are many bloggers out there posting these very types of things, and I do not criticize at all. I personally think it’s wonderful. But I don’t typically do it. When I leave my home I am my social self. When I log on to social media, that is my social self. When I am posting on my blog – while it is too easy typing from the confines of my living room to sometimes get too personal – I try to be as consistent with who I would be in a crowd as I can force myself to be.
I’m not often one for comparing myself to others. I have problems, but no matter what life you’re living, I know you have problems too. There are good things in my life, and there are good things in yours. I sometimes fail at things, as you do also. So no matter what level of good another/s might look, I will always favour what I’ve got. My life is the one I built. That’s right, my life is the one that I built. I take full responsibility for this. But it also shows that I already did it once, so I know I can do it again, and I can work on it if this one is not to my liking. I have made decisions that have brought me to where I am, and I can always make new ones to change my circumstances. And for those of you who may be making comparisons, for those that think I’ve got things figured out, for that one amazing, beautiful woman who broke my heart when she told me that she couldn’t be on social media anymore because seeing people ‘with lives like (mine)’ made her feel bad about hers (one is too many in my opinion), this post is for you.
As the title says, I can’t quite explain it, but I feel different lately – as in off, or not quite myself. I can try to explain, but I’m not really sure I can. That conversation with that one woman (who I’ve known going on two decades) made me wonder just how many felt the same way she did, and prompted me to finally log on so I could write this. My social media and the pics I’ve been showing off lately may have included planes, wine and cuddles with my darling baby nephew, but those moments were just the bulbs on the Christmas light string. The blinking type.
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