Once again I find myself taking an extended leave from the good old blogging world. I haven’t given up and disappeared for good, but as the title states, sometimes life happens.
I’m one of those people that always has trouble finding balance – everything always seems to be one extreme or the other with me. If I’m doing something, I’m all in or completely out to lunch. When it comes to my workout ‘routine’, I’m either give it all I’ve got for periods lasting up to years, or couch potato extraordinaire. Relationships, social outings, hobbies, domesticity, moods, etc… always extremes. So when it comes to time management and (yeah, I’m gonna say those words that everybody loves to hate) self care, why would I be anything but?
Well, I have to say I haven’t necessarily been neglecting myself lately – I’ve been looking for that whole balance thing, and recognizing just how crucial that rest and ‘me’ time are for one’s own physical and mental health – especially when a lot else is happening in your life – I’ve had to take a break from some things in order to maintain that. Checking in on the blog world – reading, interacting and posting – has unfortunately been one of those things.
I’ve been working out of town one day a week (in remote fly-in communities). I’ve been to two (Canadian!) Thanksgiving dinners. Friends and family were in from out of town. I celebrated my birthday last week, and two days prior to that was my boyfriend’s. Two friends were also celebrating theirs the same day as mine and two days later. I’ve been to a friends house party, celebrating the end of summer and to show off their drool/magazine worthy house renos (she declined my request they adopt me), and also to a 50th(!) wedding anniversary for extended family. My brother returned home for the season and brought his new girlfriend I had yet to meet with him.
Went out for dinner with my work crew, went out twice with the man and over to his place for dinner 3 or 4 times, and had him over for a movie night. I’ve been starting early and working late just about every day lately, including putting in a full extra work day a week over what I would usually work; each day spent putting out fire after fire after fire… every single little thing and big thing that could go wrong has… all day. Every single day. Which has resulted in my even going back and forth with our amazing techy in the evenings and weekends, trying to frantically get things changed up and set up, and checklists of what’s all required for the next business day. And then going in to try to do a quick once over or potentially training on any new things just minutes before they are required to be in use for the day. I’ve been losing it just a little, but I’m so fortunate to have great coworkers and a very supportive management team, so they’ve helped me keep it together a lot this past while.
I had seen a help wanted ad for two days a week at my absolute favourite boutique in town, and even though I had not been looking for a second job, I thought how fun, less serious and different it would be from my normal day to day and immediately printed and brought in my resume during my lunch break that day. Between the fact that I live alone (with my not very friendly shepherd/rotti cross of course), that I’m paid to not talk (while remaining completely expressionless) for 90+% of the business day, that sometimes I work too late to do anything but bathe and/or eat after work before bed, that the boyfriend has been for the most part putting in late hours trying to get his new business up and running, I frequently get a less than healthy amount of interaction with other human beings and sometimes feel a little too alone in this world. The little bit extra cash would have been a bonus. And the clothes, the clothes, the clothes… sigh. Her on call girl (they are the only two there) asked if she could work those extra days instead, but we were chatting the other day and she asked if I would consider coming in if they needed help during other times of the year. Told her to give me a call anytime if they would like. Second best case scenario.
My smartphone died completely and 24 hours later (fortunately?) came back to life. My tablet is starting to crash and lag, and show signs of a life well lived. My laptop has been doing the same. That’s what happens when you buy them all around the same time. Oh brother! A friend has also been going through a situation, and I’ve been a little worried about his well being. Took home a friend’s computer to help get it up and running.
I was sick on two (feeling as if I’m going on three) occasions. I also tried playing around with different variables each night to see if I could improve my insomnia (by this point you may have realized I do not sleep well, if at all), because I need every minute I can get to make it through the days lately, and have been spending more time at meal prep and eating regularly (not that I didn’t before, I just became super conscious about it), since my blood sugar has been crazy lately and my days have been too hectic to go it on an empty tank. And, FYI, last couple of nights I have had the best sleeps I can recall in practically forever. I did not turn on the television even once those days. Used devices only to check for an email I had been waiting on. Ate unusually heavy and even drank soda. Kept every light on, turning all but a lamp off an hour before bed. Rotated my pillows (I’m a girl – we usually have piles to choose from), and then loaded on the blankets. I’ve always slept better with heavier comforters/blankets, but went seriously crazy with layering them up for sake of experimentation, so much so that in my sleep addled morning stupor I had difficulty extracting myself from under them. Turned on music in the other room for background noise (with lyrics, but low enough for them to be barely intelligible). Out like a light, and a solid almost exact 8 hours. I know how bad sleep issues can be, and nothing seems to ever work for me, so while I know this all sounds pretty dorky, I went through every combination of things that works the absolute best for me in more detail than necessary in case it might help any of you out at all.
So, that’s my long winded story. Of just the last two weeks of my life.
This has been just two weeks. And it doesn’t show much sign of slowing down for the next little bit either.
I’ve had just enough spare time, spent in my own home, to get basic hygiene and just barely substandard living conditions (aka chores) maintained, nourishing myself, and then getting to decide (on the nights I’ve actually had spare time) between how much I have left to divvy up between my mutt, checking off the non urgent (not needing to be done ASAP) to do list, baking or learning to cook something new, setting and working on goals, spending time online, and any form of non face to face socialization/communication. I always have time and enough left in the tank for a minimum of one, but sometimes only just one, and you can likely guess what takes priority! The rest are all things that you can get by without when necessary.
Going to admit, I’m exhausted right now. Worked, grocery shopped with my sweetie and had an early dinner, came home and after cleaning up a bit, got into some sweats and curled up in the dark with a couple of movies, because it’s the only time I’ll get to again for a bit. My eyes and limbs are tired, and once I finish this I’m shutting down for the night. But I’ve been missing my blogging community and it’s been too long since I’ve posted here. So there I’m at. This is my life right now. Once things get back to their normal, more relaxed pace I’ll be able to get back to indulging in all these fun little side quests in this game called life.
“Or maybe these are the side quests?”, says the sleep delirium as it starts to take hold…
Maybe they just are.